Hii guys after looking back I think I know what’s my problem is, is that I never really let God walk my life. Again for this post is more about my personal life instead of having fun only 🙂 But you’ll get twenty one pilots, Kendrick Lamar, BewhY, and Kanye West and more if you stay tuned.

Psalm 25:4-5


Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day.

Yup that’s my problem, I could say I’m the most stubborn sheep alive, (I mean I’m Christian, so we always said that we’re just like the sheep, and God is our shepard). Furthermore, I realised over the times that money is not the key that I’m focusing in life, its more towards self believe, and acceptance.

I realised that I’m not the most smartest girl inside the room, and sometimes I feel like I let my parents down in a lot of ways. Firstly as someone coming from Asian background, you need to be good at school/university. While the other Chinese Indonesian girls are able doing it, I’m not really able to accomplish that, secondly while the other Chinese Indonesian girls are able having such a pretty, girly style I’m not. While the other Chinese Indonesian girls are able being acting all nice all day, I’m not…I’m far beyond the picture perfect of Chinese Indonesian girl image.

What did I do next ? I blamed God for everything that’s different from me, but God giving me the most unconditional love, He gave me a song called In Trinity, and saying we all have purpose in life, because He created us with His plan, and there’s no mistakes from the plan. At first I don’t really believe that He just slapped me on my face through a song but it happened, and most people laughing because of my story.

God makes no mistakes, my bro and sister He faces you the most perfect plan…I know you were clearly born for a reason..You are special boy and girl do remember..Love Yourself – BeWhy – IN TRINITY 


“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
for his steadfast love endures forever!”      

I realised that all I do is actually just not making a blessing towards others because I also cursing myself. Because I’m not seeing myself as a special person, I think I also mocking God. If you know Twenty One Pilots, they also have a gospel song that you might never thought about it. I think the song really speaking to me that its only the flesh while we still live in, and one day later God will come and give me a new strength and body, so I don’t really have to think about my lonely-ness, or not fit in while I’m still living. But I learn from them that in life God never judge people from the way they look, or what they do.

So the next time you feel like your worlds about to end, I hope you studied because He’s testing your faith again. – Kendrick Lamar

I found this saying on the day a pastor in my church questioning, have you ever think about living like a life without God being exist. With that saying at first well, my life definitely will be the same, but then I’m wrong. If I’m having that kind of point of view that I’m not really believe in Him, going back home I opened my instagram and found this quote of Kendrick Lamar. “I’d rather not live like there isn’t God then die, and find out there really is. THINK ABOUT IT ?” again he slapped me hard on my face. The truth is God sort of telling me to stop looking at those negativities, and accepting myself, because at the end of the day, God can use whoever He wants to glorified his name.

I mean problems, troubles will be part in our life while we still live in, and also reminded me of Job, I think the most important things that we faced in life is not only about money. That’s why sometimes I feel like the assertion stories in the church are not relatable to me. I think God gave a special point of view that I think I need to discover more, by more communicating to Him more.

I also expect, if I blessed people up, they need to return it, but that’s not what God said about giving to others right ? a lot of times I more related to these guys, because I live my life to the fullest, and sometimes I forgot that its God’s gift to my family. I just relatable to them because they see people are human and got that humane sense. What I like about this genre is that you really let you whatever the negativity you want to say. I can see that although sometimes Kanye is non sense, in these interview I could tell why his blessings with all from the shoes, and the albums never stops.

“people give with an agenda of getting a specific thing back from that specific person. You can’t control anyone, you can’t say hey I gave you these things, you owe me this back. You have to give and know that your blessings will be tenfold period, and your blesses might not come directly from the person that you gave” – Kanye West. 

Recently in my church there’s been a drama (the church in Indonesia), they kind of dissing each other. But the most hurtful things is that they’re doing worst than me, but they also sort of judging me from my cover. I was hurt because they’re not so much different than me. Again I think we all should stop judging people from the cover. So at the end of the day, what I got is really to communicate with God, this people are just the vessels of the word of God like what they said. You can make them as your role model, but not an idol. And definitely building a relationship with God is really important, it will help you less helpless facing this helpless world. I also think that, the blessings that God gave us probably might not in terms of money, but in other things, like careers, family, friendship, and relationships 🙂


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